April Fool’s Day drama

Ever since the huge success of the onion pop gag I pulled on the boys last April Fool’s Day (and the Underwear Awareness prank from 2012), I’ve been on the hunt for a way to top it, or at least come close.

A couple of days after April 1, 2013, Chris shared the details of the cake pop prank  with a some coworkers and a few of his customers. One of them had a great idea for next year that involved tricking the kids into cracking raw eggs on their heads.  And it didn’t take me long before I had the thing all planned out.

Since the kids know I write a little here and there on a variety of topics, I figured I could tell them I was working on an article outlining the best way to crack hard-boiled eggs. I’d say I’d done some research and found that the top of the head provides the absolute perfect surface for even egg-cracking.  I’d demonstrate it myself, and then let them each grab an egg and get cracking, only theirs would be raw. To seal the deal, I’d tell them I wanted to record their demonstration and include the footage in the article, which would make them overnight YouTube sensations in their minds. And, just in case Ryan anyone had any hard feelings about getting raw egg all over their head, I’d surprise them each with a dozen eggs and let them have a full-blown egg fight outside after we were done.

Yes, I had decided April Fool’s 2014 was going to be epic.

And it was. An epic fail.

Even though the kids were super stoked to be my guinea pigs, they were way too timid when trying to crack their eggs. They tapped them so gently that they made only tiny cracks and then they began trying to peel away the shell from the gelatinous egg membrane. I didn’t know it was possible to peel raw eggs until I saw them actually doing it. It was insane.

After that prank bombed, I thought I’d redeem myself  by handing them each their own carton of eggs and setting them loose outside. I even got a carton for Chris and I so we could get in on the fun and be really cool parents.

Now, I have never been shot, but I imagine the initial sting of a gunshot wound  feels amazingly similar to getting pelted with a raw egg. Only the raw egg is huge and hurts even more. I’m convinced it has something to do with the raw egg yolk and egg white inside the egg; they are the reason for the intense pain. That and inertia. I bet getting smacked in the arm with a hard-boiled egg would leave only a temporary pinkish mark instead of the huge, red, raised welts that sting and burn and then turn into bruises days later. We may do a science project on the topic if we ever have the opportunity.

This ended so badly. Everyone was in tears and screaming at each other. The boys were ready to throw down by the time all the egg cartons were empty. I think I saw smoke shoot out of Nicholas’ ears he was so furious.

We had this epic battle on Sunday. My plan was to have all the video uploaded and the post written and ready to go live yesterday on April Fool’s Day 2014. Since it was such a failure, I had to come up with something else fast. It had to be easy, quick and funny.

My morning antics did not result in an uproar of laughter.

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I squeezed some food coloring into the bottom of the cereal bowls and poured the cereal on top. Since the dye was hiding beneath the cereal, the kids (really just Hayden) were surprised when the milk turned green as it was poured into his bowl.  He thought it was a pretty cool trick.

Nicholas jumped when he pulled his napkin from the table to wipe his mouth and a plastic bug jumped out. All three thought this was fun, but were still not really impressed. I wasn’t either.

Since Nicholas was the first one to bite into his baking powder-covered doughnut and go running to the sink to spit it out, the other two didn’t dare take a bite of theirs. But they did think it was a pretty clever way to disguise a doughnut. So do I.

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I was going to unscrew the end of their bathroom faucet and put an egg dye tablet inside before reattaching it to the faucet so when they turned the water on it would come out green, but the faucet wouldn’t budge.

I was getting discouraged.

Until I found a tube of Vaseline. I ended up smearing it on every doorknob I knew the kids would open once they got home from school. Both sides. Over and over and over again until they went to bed. This was the one that got the laughs. The contagious belly- kind of laughs that I cherish.

Another successful April Fool’s Day in the books.

 

 

 

 

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